During the week, my friend sent me a snippet from the book she was reading (The Compound Effect by Darren Hardy), where the author wrote out all the things he wanted in a spouse. He wrote 40 pages full. I know. Shocking. She sent me a screenshot and asked ‘are you your type’s type’ with a laughing emoji. This really got me thinking.
An average single has what they term to be their type or their spec. When asked what type of girl a guy wants, he can go on and on and on. I mean from face to hair, to cooking abilities, to how she must love the Lord , I mean slay and pray, be independent and all that good stuff.
I remember particularly in school where one of our classmates was asked about his spec, after this guy listed out all the things he wanted in a woman, we unanimously agreed that she is not walking on earth. She probaly is still incubating in heaven.
We are fast to say we do not want a type of person. In fact, we go about with the notion of having a Mr. Right. One prince charming who will come and lead us to our happily ever after. A perfect human being who steps into our lives and makes all the bad things go away. We subconcously are looking for people to fix our lives in the name of spouses.
I personally, am not a fan of writing a list of the things you would potentially want in a spouse because it could create an idol in your heart, but what I liked about Darren Hardy is, after he wrote in details all the things he wanted in a wife, he went ahead to write another 40 pages full of the type of man he would have to become to get a woman like that.
I loved the balance because you are who you attract. It is a sad truth. It’s easy to be broke and want a rich man, lazy and want a hard working man, a nominal christian and want a tongue speaking-demon chasing-miracle working-filled with the Holy Ghost type of man.
I have a problem with people who look out for potential partners to pour their burden on. Last I checked Jesus said come unto me all ye that labour and are heavy laden and I will give you rest. Your rest starts from Jesus Christ. Do you still have baggage, fears and insecurities about life, take them to Jesus, not a man.
There is a type of life you want to live, there is a type of person you want to be, well there is also a type of person you have to be to achieve these things.
If you were her, would you want to be with a person like you? Before you go about looking for a ‘right’, ensure you are a right. This is not to rule out the fact that human beings are flawed and imperfect, but once you start making excuses for your inabilities instead of trying to become better, there is a serious problem.
So I ask you once again, are you your type’s type?
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