Abba, I feel numb.
I have been living on autopilot mode and been feeling so light. This is not the lightness that comes from liberty in Christ Jesus but one which has no anchor to keep it grounded. But you are my anchor, so what happened to us?
I feel like I’m floating. I try hard to keep myself interested and connected to the rest of humanity. Many times I am in limbo, somewhere in between dream and reality and therein lies my peace. My thoughts are wild and my ideas flow freely but I lack the willpower to actually put them to action.
My favourite pastime is scrolling. It is mindless activities like this that my energy level enables. It deceives my numbness into believing it’s working so I can stay on that spot for hours. Achieving nothing. See how the devil successfully steals my time.
I feel my heart beating within my chest but I cannot feel the blood flowing in my veins. I cannot feel. Not hurt, not pain, not love. I just feel numb.
Despite all these, I have succeeded in putting on a front. But, this pretence takes more from me and when I am done, my energy level drops even more.
This is a cry for you to help my numbness as I miss my resounding laughter and basic joie de vivre. It is a cry to help me feel again.
Now more than ever, I realize the necessity of You. When I spend too much time away the numbness creeps. I now know that I really need you to survive. Heck! I need you to feel again.
I pray for strength for today. Help me take it one step at a time and after that, a day at a time.
Please take me back to the basics of our relationship.
P.S: Are you feeling disconnected from the world and your surroundings? Do well to make positive confessions over your life. Also, check if you have drifted from your regular routine of worship and study of the Word. Find your way back.
Do not forget that we all have our down moments but don’t allow them to define you. Claim the promises of God over your life and tell your feelings how to feel.
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