You know how they say the grass is greener on the other side, the truth is both the people who said it and we the dreamers cannot ascertain what’s on the other side. Going to the other side is a risk and a huge leap of faith.

To further buttress my point, let me paint you a picture. For the sake of analogy, picture yourself as a commodity with 3 basic categories of customers

1) The ones willing to buy but can’t afford you – These ones admire you and they may even be ‘convinced’ that you’re the one for them, but they¬† just do not know how to treat you right.

Their purpose do not align with yours, you have different values and you generally just want different things out of life. You do not share anything in common.

2) The ones who can afford you but are not willing to buy
These ones are your type. They look right, talk right, pray right, in fact to you, they are all right. Unfortunately, they do not want you.

The mistake many of us make in this situation is we ‘force’ ourselves on them. You hear of people joining units to please a potential suitor, lying or changing their taste in things to suit them.

I mean it’s one thing to show greenlight, it’s another thing to be thirsty and thirst is not an attractive look.

You would rather  stay where you are wanted, said one of my mummies. According to her, if you eventually make this relationship happen both you and the counterpart will lack happiness. To love and be loved is what you should desire. That is where bliss lies.

If they eventually get swayed by your importunity, you find out they just manage you. You would be the only one pouring into the relationship if it lasts and if it doesn’t, you wasted time and emotions.

3) The ones who can afford you, are willing to buy but you just no wan gree
I’ve heard many stories of potential suitors. Some you can easily discard knowing they are unserious or they are not just ‘it’. The thing is in the number lies some very correct people. The spiritual ones would have even prayed and gotten confirmation and peace about this person but for one reason or the other they are reluctant.

One might think they’re not in the same social status as the potential. Somehow they can do better, they’re concerned because they know people may not accept this person and the popular reason is usually they have their eyes on someone else.

This someone else falls into category 2. They always do. The idea of the chase and the eventual catch is exciting. It’s almost an adventure.

It is beautiful – intoxicating even, to believe that there’s a better out there. I mean you should dream big, it’s free. You should spread your tentacles as far as you possibly can, but what if you forget your roots?

To be disillusioned is to be disappointed after finding out that something is not as good as you think it is. The point of disillusionment comes after you realize that what you left was better than where you’re at. If only you saw something other than a mirage.

I have this friend who would always post that confusion is by choice. In my mind I’m like no. I was dragged into this situation with a gun to my head and my hands and legs were tied. I felt offended.

But the truth is you can see clearly if you want to as there are two sides to the coin. Sometimes you need to move away from your current situation as your next will be better. You may move from a 3 to an even far better 3 but the ability to analyze properly and make right decisions are paramount.

I have learnt that emotions are sometimes misleading. The opinions of well meaning people in your life may also mislead you. Like Esther Essien says, you need to silence the voices of man and of your emotions and make a decision with your spirit.

So between your head and your heart, choose your spirit.

You should try to separate yourself from the situation and see the situation from different angles. Sounds difficult right? That’s why we need the help of the Holy Spirit.

God is my best bet in making any decision. He clears away the fuzz and aligns me lest I chase the wind.

So, in my time of confusion I take time out to shut out the noise. I stick my nose in the Word of God, I listen to worship, I cry, I vent and pray and somehow – even above my scope of understanding, He always makes a way.

I’m writing to all those who feel stuck (in relationships or otherwise), who have been hurt by the people they love or who are about to make a major decision in anger. I pray that you make these decisions while seeing clearly.

May your eyes be washed with eyesalve and may you find rest and succour to your soul.

Thank you for reading. Do not forget to leave your thoughts below, like, share and follow for weekly updates.

God loves you like crazy🤗

1 Comment

Samuel Ola · September 24, 2020 at 12:16 am

Yes ma! “God is my best bet in making any decision [He specializes on the greener parts too]”.

Keep targeting our needs. You do this well.

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